Fear and Writing

Writing is a funny thing.  I spent nineteen years with an idea in my head.  Then I spend over 2.5 years writing the story behind that idea and now I feel afraid to release the novel, Dim speak, into the wild.  What’s strange, I don’t fear people not liking it or criticizing it.  I think it’s a bit of an odd duck as far as novels are concerned and such things are always polarizing.  I fully expect it to get wildly differing reviews.

What I think I fear the most is charging money for it.  I fully believe artists should be compensated for their work.  They should be able to make a living at their passion.  I fear taking people’s money and having them find no artistry in the work.

Mind you, I didn’t write a literary novel.  I didn’t write Dim Speak with the intent of, well, whatever intent there is when writing a literary novel.  Depressing the reader and beating them over the head with a singular theme if I’m not mistaken.  Seriously, that’s all I ever get out of the classics, and I wanted to write something completely the opposite of that.

I wrote a fantasy parody. Non-derivative, both in the sense that it is not a parody of another work and it doesn’t spoof for the sake of being silly.  I try to write all the gags in the context of a serious story, which from time to time, does not take itself seriously.  Again, that’s the point, because one of my goals in this work was to write a parody of life itself.  We can’t take it seriously all the time, or we’d all just go bonkers.

My two biggest influences, not surprisingly, come from my teenage years of reading.  Piers Anthony and the first dozen or so Xanth novels, along with another dozen or so of his books.  And Robert Asprin with his Myth series.  Alas, both of these authors loved their puns, while I loathe puns.  They’re what finally made me give up on the Xanth novels; too many puns running around.

Asprin was less prolific with them, allowing me to read just about everything he wrote.  His Myth novels, while a whole lot of fun, suffered from consistency.  However, that wasn’t the point of those stories.  The Myth novels were about friends and their relationships with each other.  I find the friendship between Aahz and Skeeve to be one of the most influential in my real day-to-day friendships.  Those are the type of relationships I personally seek.

Dim Speak has no puns, but I tried to land it squarely in between these two authors’ works.  I like to think the story is serious in the way most of the Xanth novels are serious and fun in the way the Myth novels are fun.  I also like to think I kept the story consistent.  I don’t foresee the savvy of the modern reader forgiving the gaping plot holes for which Mr. Asprin was guilty.  Most importantly of all, the story is about the friendship between Chip and Faith.  Because these two are of the opposite sex, naturally there will be an extra layer of sexual tension, at least for Chip, but my ultimate goal is to create a friendship between the two characters as deep as the one between Aahz and Skeeve.

I think the bulk of my fear comes from my childhood misconceptions about these works.  Twenty-plus years ago, I treated these kinds of books as silly diversions, nothing deep and meant to be fun.  I didn’t recognize the artistry.  As an adult, now that I have written a story like this for myself, I know I am attempting to follow in the steps of giants.  I think my biggest fear is that it will take another twenty years for me to capture the same artistry that Mr. Anthony and Mr. Asprin managed to capture.

Late to the Party, As Usual

As I sat at my computer this morning drinking my hot cocoa and eating my Mexican Style hot pockets, I came across the following interesting blog post called Search Bombing In it, Ironic Mom aka Leanne Shirtliffe, tells a compelling story of how such a funny concept was created when she searched for Clay Morgan of EduClaytion. I won’t ruin her story, but suffice it to say the gag is you search a friend using all sorts of funny search terms so that when this person checks their blog stats they see this crazy list of search items that led to their pages.  Her post serendipitously comes to me a couple of days after my post about someone accidentally searching for Tyrick Brown on their mobile device.

Naturally this idea is dead and gone as far as internet memes is concerned.  Her post is from April first of this year, making me late to the party as usual.  Nevertheless, I think I’ll perform a few covert search bombs of my own for the Christmas season.  After all, most bloggers toil away in relative obscurity, so why not give the gift of inobscurity this season?  All it costs are a few minutes of your time and a few creative phrases.

The Classics: Apples and Oranges

Yesterday, Mur Lafferty wrote an article entitled My Problem With the Classics In a nutsehell, she said she had a hard time reading the classics in the Sci-Fi genre because of the poor writing, cardboard characters, and its patriarchal nature.  She has since closed comments because they have strayed from her original question:  “How can I appreciate the classics when I run into such painful roadblocks like this? It’s hard to read things I’m not enjoying, even for academic purposes.”

My comment and several others address that question, but very quickly a number of the commenters started comparing her plight about classic books to the watching of classic films, and this is what I want to comment on.

Comparing the reading of classic Sci-Fi genre fiction to classic films is really comparing apples and oranges.  I understand the actual time in history coincide well enough, they were both seeking, finding, and breaking boundaries as a matter of course.  So as intellectual artistic endeavors there are parallels, and I am sure this is what the commenters were attempting to draw from.  The principle distinction lies in the consumption of these classic media.

Watching a classic film, with its own set of foibles, takes between two and three hours.  Even the most craven among us can push ourselves through an evening of classic film watching.  What’s the cost?  One dull evening a week, a month, or whatever you’re looking to invest in your classic film education.

Forcing oneself to read classic literature on the other hand takes a full order of magnitude longer.  How long does it take to read a book?  Naturally it varies on the length of the book and the speed of the reader, but it’s safe to say it probably takes anywhere from 10-30 hours.  Invest 2-3 hours a night and you’re looking at nearly a full week, or two, or three to consume this work.

In this day and age who has that kind of time?  That is, unless you want to sit around and discuss such works academically.  For a modern writer, it is more important to keep up with the current writing trends and boundaries.  A writer has to eat after all.

Of course, I’m not advocating a person skip the classics entirely.  I am not big on the classics myself, but I try to slog through one or two a year.  I recently read Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, which is supposed to be a Sci-Fi classic.  In my opinion it is more literary than Sci-Fi, but either way, it was repetitive and made me feel like I was being beat over the head with one theme for the entire 200+ pages.  It was not a dynamic or even interesting read at all.  Nevertheless, I dragged myself kicking and screaming to the finish line.

My point is that it is unfair to suggest a modern writer go back and read hundreds of the classics, especially when compared to watching classic films, because they have more important things to read in order to stay relevant.  Quite simply, reading a book takes an investment of time that watching films does not.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Advice to the Reader: Just Stop Reading

Just stop reading might sound like odd advice for a reader to accept, but like most advice, it is contextual.  I’ve been thinking about a comment I made in my last post, do people who get things at the dollar store complain about the product?  Or even more germane with reading, why would someone complain about a novel that only cost them a dollar?

I’m not sure I have an answer for that.  I suspect it has to do with investment.  When someone reads a novel they not only pay the cost of the book, they invest 6-36 hours of reading time.  (That time window is more or less randomly chosen to reflect different book lengths and different speed readers.  I tend to read a little slow, which is why I don’t mind audio books.)  To quote a number of bloggers, I have no idea who coined the phrase first, Time is the Currency of Life.  Spend it wisely.

If you’re like me and my friends, you’ve said or have heard someone say something to the effect of:  “XXXX was terrible.  I wish I could get that two hours back!”  I can understand this.  I’ve said it myself.  I think a lot of people don’t value their time highly enough.  For instance, I haven’t changed the oil in my car for almost 20 years.  I did it myself throughout my teens and then one day I realized it takes me a little more than an hour to do it myself, not to mention the time it takes to go to the store and get the filter and oil, which still costs me about $8.  Two hours and $8 invested when I could have simply gone to Jiffy Lube or some equivalent and had the job done for $25 (or less with coupon) in fifteen minutes.  So if I valued my time at about $9 an hour, I was breaking even.

Sorry for the math lesson, but I quickly realized I’d rather have the hour and forty-five minutes than the extra $17 bucks, because aside from all the math, there was the “hassle factor”.  The hassle of dragging out the ramps and tools and crap versus sitting in an office reading a book or some other leisure activity.

Nice segue, now we’re back to talking about reading.  You buy someone’s book on Amazon for a dollar.  Your investment into this endeavor is pretty much all time.  A dollar for a book means you can probably pay for it with money found in the couch cushions.  From saving the change for two or three days after paying for your morning coffee. You can get a dollar by putting on grubby clothes, standing on the corner for fifteen minutes, and say, “Spare change.  I gotta read.”  Though in that scenario we get back to what is your time really worth.

The point I’m driving at is simple.  Please don’t harass the author for wasting your time.  If you get to a certain point and decide you’re not enjoying a “dollar dreadful”.  STOP READING!  Don’t punish yourself.  Don’t blame the author.  You’re not going to enjoy all books anymore than an author is going to please all readers.  If you’re not enjoying a book, put the Kindle down.  You are wasting your own precious resource, not the author.  There are far too many one dollar books out there for you to be wasting your time with the bad ones.

If you feel the need to waste even more of your time, go to Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, etc. and give the author a bad review.  With one caveat, honesty is the best policy.  If you couldn’t finish the novel, make sure you say that in the review.  Please don’t represent yourself as someone who has full knowledge of the novel.

Pacing and Coincidence

I have to say that maybe this is more of a complaint about the way writer’s write these days rather than actual advice to the reader.  After all, we like what we like and a little whining from me isn’t going to change all that, but here it goes.

The rule of thumb in writing a story is hook the reader and keep the story moving.  Each sentence is supposed to either build the character or push the plot.  Everything else is simple self-indulgence for writer (if not the reader) and is supposed to be removed during the editing process.

This sounds great in theory, but in practice, what happens is I get “paced out”.  I need a breather.  I want the writer to insert a bit of reality and in reality, we aren’t on the go most of the time.  What often happens instead is the next scene comes about because of some “random coincidence”.  One person leaves the protagonists home, and rather than letting the main character take a shower, watch a little TV, and wind down a bit before the phone rings, it rings two seconds after the person left and the protagonist is off again.  Either that, or it takes just long enough for the protagonist to navel gaze on matters and the phone ringing brings them out of their reverie and then they are off.

I see this sort of thing in The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.  I enjoy the books.  Love them.  But after reading three of them in four days, I finally sat back in my chair and sighed, “Wow, another convenient plot coincidence that keeps Harry Dresden on the move.”  Worse yet, I get to listen to him complain about how tired he is, but has to keep going.  My hero.  Please let me reiterate this is a complaint I have with a series of books I like a lot.  I just think the story would be just fine without all the coincidences that just so happen to continually raise the stakes and the pacing.

I know what you readers are thinking.  I get enough real life in real life, I don’t need to read about it.  I don’t even need to read hints about it.

I agree with this as well.  After all, reading is about escapism.  Unfortunately, you really learn about someone by what they do during the mundane times in their day.  Character building is crucial in a story.  If the characters are not engaging we put the book down.  Readers will forgive a lot of bad plotting for interesting characters.  Unfortunately, we don’t learn the true nature of these characters we are interested in.  We read about them when they are stressed, on the go without sleep, and their guards are up.  Are authors afraid we won’t like their characters as every day people?

Now the opposite end of the spectrum is Epic fantasy, Space Opera, or pick any genre with a Dickensian style writing.  This stuff drones on and on about the mundane surroundings essentially turning the world itself into one of the main characters.  You would think I’d be happy as a pig in shit over this type of writing, but the truth is, I stop paying attention and I suddenly don’t know what’s going on.  I can only “read” this sort of story as an audio book.  And that’s because I can stop listening and focus on something else while the boring parts stumble on by.

Take for instance Stieg Larsson’s triology starting with “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”.  I picked this up as an audio book so I could listen to it while at work.  Thank goodness I made that choice!  I had to shut my brain off fairly regularly to get through this one.  And again, I really liked the story, but honestly, I didn’t need to know about the specs on one of the ancillary characters expensive laptop.  Too much information!  Especially since the laptop as described was thoroughly outmoded five years.  Now he’s dated the novel.  Whereas if I had just been told it was an expensive kick ass laptop, my mind would have taken care of the rest.

I guess I’m just looking for something in the middle.  A little moderation is all.  As far as this being advice for the reader, pay a little more attention to the plotting and pacing of the next few novels you read and see if you don’t agree with me.