This is just another one of my whiny, poor me posts, so you’ll probably want to skip it. I only put these in the blog because everyone needs to vent from time to time, and who knows, maybe someone out there is looking for a little “misery loves company” right now.
I still haven’t heard about whether or not my short story has made the final cut for the Absolute Write Anthology, but I’m still hopeful. Not hearing isn’t what’s been bringing me down. When it comes to the sort of things where whatever happens is totally out of my control, I am usually pretty good about dissociating myself from that decision. I know a lot of people remain anxious, like a awaiting a score on a test that they’ve already turned in. Nothing you can do now will change your score, so why let it bother you, I say.
The same thing is still getting to me. Namely, my day job. I’m really sick of putting in 50-55 hours a week. I get home too late in the morning and too tired to write and then sleep most of the day, and I can’t seem to get myself out of this rut of not writing. I really feel I need to shake things up to get myself down a new path.
I started looking for a house out in Las Vegas, Nevada. I have lived there before for about 10 months and I’ve been working to get myself back there. Now that I’ve paid off all my bills save for the student loan, put some money in the bank, I am now in a position to try to buy a house. Unfortunately, I haven’t touched that path in a couple of weeks. Opting for the rut instead. (There’s a gerund for HJ).
Take yesterday as a for instance. I woke up at 8pm, into work at 11pm, worked until 9:45am, back in bed by 11:45am, and then finally wake up again at 7pm. So you point out that I had three hours before going into work to get some writing done. I don’t dispute that. I just feel as though I’ve been worn down to the nub and I need some recharge time before I can focus on writing. Like I said, I need a change.
I did spend three hours at work last night writing up a couple of letters to my co-workers. Technically, I’m their boss, but I don’t throw my weight around a lot. there’s not much need to, since they know their jobs. But I’ve been the glue holding things together in a lot of ways, so I wrote down ways they could help save me hours at night, if they spent 10-15 minutes here and there. We’ll see if that alleviates some of the work end of things. If so, maybe I’ll slowly become less physically tired. Perhaps then I can become less mentally tired.